As often as is necessary as determined by both of you together. If you want more, inform the other of the want and with respect and kindness, ask for more of their attention. Be mindful of each other’s stresses and take care to acknowledge the other’s efforts when asking for more attention.
For many of us, distance constrains our relationships. Often the spoken word as conferred by voice or text is our lifeline to maintaining a relationship with someone we want to be close to in the course of our day.
Each couple establishes for themselves normality. This pattern is started by speaking to each other to indicate one’s need. Talk to each other. Establish that time is wanted with the spouse, that you’re willing to make time for each other.
Say to your spouse if you need more time. Between spouses, share trust and honesty. Open communications. If one needs more or the other less, then a compromise can be reached by speaking to each other.
Perhaps it is not spontaneous or romantic to set the number of times to communicate and when, but it will help meet personal needs and sustain the relationship with honesty, trust, and nuturing.